You, sir, are an adventurous, spirited three year old soul.   This means on occasion you will try new things as you explore the vast, curious, inviting and sometimes curious world around you.

Here’s a case in point:  one day you decided to combine a tiny candy with a new personal orifice.

The candy was a tic tac.    The personal orifice was one of your nostrils.

I can visualize in my mind’s eye how the whole thing might have played out.

The tic tac was in hand.  You had eaten or chewed several already and were bored by the sheer monotony of always putting something to eat in your mouth. So you thought to yourself:

Hey@!  why does my mouth get all the food action?  What’s up with that?  I have plenty of other places I can put it right? I’ve got two ear holes!  Cool!  And that’s not all!  I also have two nose holes… ( I hope you stopped there).  Why don’t I try one of those?  That sounds like a smart thing to do.

 

And that’s exactly what you did.  In went the tic tac.

Soon the aroma began to fill your little nasal cavity with what must have felt like a very minty fresh sensation, perhaps a bit too minty fresh.  At some point your Mom discovered the spontaneous deed and attempted to free the tiny white object from your nose… but it would not budge.

Some degree of Mom panic set in and you were soon off to the ER with your Dad so they could explore the area and retrieve the stubborn “I never should have gone in there” visitor.

At the ER, they lit up the area, looked and probed and – strangely – couldn’t find anything unusual up there… no tic tacs, no foreign objects, no uninvited visitors.  What gives? Where did it go? Life is such a mystery.

Soon you were back home, breathing normally and living life with your usual aplomb.  But things were different.  You were a changed three year old – a different person – because you had learned an important life lesson which you shared with your mom and dad by saying:

I’m not going to put tic tacs up my nose anymore.

 

And there you have it.  Wisdom for the ages, and quote of the year for Jack Clickman.